Goal of smiles

Here I am 2 weeks post first marathon stretching after a relaxed 40 min run on this cool November sunday. While I am doing push ups and sit ups I am realizing I do not have a race planed out.. but I know there will be one, I have a detailed running plan and a running coach.. but again no actual race. I am thinking in my head this is not training, or is it? What is this? Finding myself confused and even more anxious about telling family and friends my plans out of fear of misunderstanding.. I sit up and I have a huge smile on my face. I am smiling because I just finished my 40 min run and I feel great and that is all that matters. Running is my passion today. 

I now know I am a runner and I can admit I love it. Training for my marathon was such an amazing experience and I find it hard for other people to understand. I have regret for not blogging, journaling or really expressing my feelings on paper. Today I know my journey in running has many years ahead so it is ok that it was not all logged on paper and pen. It was logged in my heart and is the reason I am still running. 

Many asked when I was ending training and after my race "Brooke what will you do with your time????!?!?!?!?". Thinking to myself, simple just work out and not be so structured. More time with people, food, tv, volunteering etc. I thought its not that big of deal... well for the past 2 weeks I worked out 5 or 6 times and I felt I had went on the longest vacation. It was great to be able to do things on my time, see more friends, cook, volunteer.. enjoy movies, sleep, candy etc. Well this was all amazing but this is not my goal. My goal is not to be the best chef in DC, the volunteer queen for the church, or an expert movie critic. While I still can enjoy all my other joys in life, I need to commit the most time to what my goal is. 

That being said, here I am 2 weeks after the longest run of my life and I am committing to my goal of being a faster stronger marathoner. I always see my races as the party platform for my training. Well my goal is to party in the Boston marathon.. to get there I have a few races and years ahead. I guess this is why I am in "training" for a few years not knowing exactly what is ahead, but I know it will bring me smiles. 

Boo Running for Boomer | Team Boomer

Boo Running for Boomer | Team Boomer

The joy of training.. in the cold

This time I am training months of Jan, Feb and March- quite the opposite of my last race that involved training in July, August and September. I have learned to enjoy a good bundled up run covering my ears and having lots of sweat with red cheeks after. But last night I could not bear the cold and had to surrender to running on the treadmill amidst the Georgetown gym fashion show of beautiful runners. Its hard not to compare yourself, sometime I find it healthy like maybe I want to have better form then the girl next to me. Sometimes it can be annoying casue I think wow they look good I want that outfit too.. when the last thing I need is another pair of lululemon pants.
Last night was a prefect example of running to train vs. running for fun/weight loss. I stalled at home for about an hour with my husband contemplating running inside or out- complaining about my tight hamstrings and fighting the urge to just watch TV and eat all night long. But I know I have to train to do this race and all of the reasons are not good enough reasons to make my Thursday run into a " I just didn't feel like it" night. This is when the fire inside comes out of me. Putting on my clothes, and hitting the treadmill with the only motivation
( if you can even all it motivation) is to bang out this training run. Of course I was tempted to walk but I didn't I ran and I was proud. To run to train is really what the joy of training is. In the cold or summer it takes you to another level of pushing yourself to do things you do not have the desire to do.
After my run I had my yummy protein shake, took over the couch and had a great night with my husband. It was simple and hard to picture if I hadn't went for my run because I realize I can have both - training, time with my husband, food and of course all the time for TV.

13.1 for 2012

The distance:
Its been 3 months after my last post and 4 months after my race- and time to reconnect with running chatter. The fall and holidays were a great time of "not" training and having lots of time with J has he was off after his knee surgery. We went on lots of trips to NY, Boston, West Virginia and really got to enjoy lazy weekend mornings and holiday festivities. I ran here and there as I wished, focused more on learning to accept that while I may have ran over 13 miles, I am not able to walk out the door and run 13 miles as I please. I have to train and I have to train for a race to build my body up for 13 miles. There were a few runs where I felt un motivated so I maybe didn't run as much, or maybe I ran just to be social with a friend. It was nice not having the intensity of training yet I still want to run 13 miles again.
The solution:
I am running the DC Half Marathon on March 17th. Not only am I able to train again, I am training my good friend Kelly. Training started today and will be for 8 weeks. I also registered for the NYC marathon, but won't know if I get in until April. I shall see about that one... hopefully all goes well training for this race.
The experience:
Lots has happened in my life in the past 3 months. I learned that I am stronger than I thought I was and was able to feel and live through some tough emotions. I also found that my gratitude is genuine and I have so much love for life and my life with my husband. We planned trips for 2012 and have  future hopes and dreams I never would have dreamed. While running in January is an experience its been quite enjoyable. I had my first flat face down fall a few weeks ago when I bruised and cut up my knee and hand ( still recovering). I ran with snow on the ground and over the icy key bridge. I ran with J has he trains for job interviews. I ran the way I love to - with believing and trusting my body to do what I know it can do.
The goal:
Run all my training runs to the best of my ability. Enjoy new yoga studios, maybe start swimming and enjoy good food as always. Love my body and love myself. Keep blogging my running chatter.

a month later and yes I still love running!

This past month has been a whirlwind of changes to my routine. With trips and Jeremiah home all the time it seems running took a back seat.. but my heart still loves it. I have done a few runs each week. Basically outisde when the weather is nice. It really has been amazing running weather. I am doing runs no longer than hour- but I am still " killing it" with a quick pace and great breathing. If anything I feel my rest days are beneficial and I am enjoying food a lot more! It feels nice to be out of " endurance training" but I also miss the intesity to it and I am learning to adjust. Last Saturday I sat home all day taking care of Jeremiah, drove to get pizza and movie and thats it. I have not had a day like in quite some time. I have been able to run with my friend kelly more and I really enjoy being able to watch someone grow and belive in themselves. I am thinking we should sign up for a late fall race... maybe a 10k or 8k? Something fun and something to do together as friends.

How has my fall been? Amazing. I have really enjoyed all the time with Jeremiah, friends, trips, good food, reading, and I am about to go on our yearly fall get-a-way trip. We will not be hiking and running, more just playing games by the fire. It will be good to getaway and have quiet alone time.

Lazy fall?

It is now 2 weeks since I completed my race, and I am officially losing motivation in running. Fall is here, J is on a new work schedule so he has weekends off and the yankees are in playoffs. I have true distractions from letting me run, but its my heart that is wanting it less and less. I have a few good workouts and I am a lot more random. J and I went for an hour walk on Wednesday and it was very strange to be walking on my running path. I ran a few miles on the treadmill and it just wasn't the same... its like running for short miles is not worth it to me. I am enjoying this new season but I have this fear when it comes time to train for a race I will be back at square one. Or will my body just bounce back and endurance take over again? I just love fall- cozy candles, home cooked meals, rainy days, dark afternoons and baseball playoffs. I am grateful I don't have weight to lose or cholesterol to lower but its hard to not feel lazy when in fact you are lazy. Is being lazy now working out 6 days a week as oppose to 7? What is lazy... gosh I need balance. The way I look at is I love spending time with Jeremiah more than anything and I should just enjoy it while I have it- even if he is my distraction I wouldn't want to spend fall with just my treadmill, the husband is way more interesting.

The change up

Well it has been about 10 days since I ran my race, and it feels physically like it never happened. I would say on Tuesday was when I had this moment of freedom from training. That Monday the day after, I did my rowing machine and 90 minute yoga- so my body was still being worked, but Tuesday I decided not to run and instead ate two brownies and get a 60 minute massage. Wow that was quite a change in my routine! I felt free from my training and I am trying to stay focused on the big picture now. The training can bring out a little bit of my obsessive’s and desire to be the "best" , when I am just enjoying life its harder for me to decide " when should I run?, when should I rest? when should I ..." I refuse to let this laid back time confuse me. My goal of this time has been to learn to be more flexible and enjoy life. I do not want to say " I can't do that I HAVE to run 2 hours today" because I do not HAVE to do anything.. and its back to that moment where I am doing what I want, its hard figuring out what I want.
. I have a bike now, and I hope to just go for bike rides when I want, I joined a yoga studio, have a tennis date pending, I can run with friends more often now that I am not training and I can go on walks, or kayaking with my husband. I also joined another gym for 30 days where I can take different work out classes and learn to break out of my routine. I find that being in a routine is very safe place for me, but it also isn't the most enjoyable place. I was able to enjoy a weekend of a few runs and it felt amazing. I felt like I ran when I wanted to and I just felt free. I could not believe how I was very fast and had great pace- under 9 min avg. However I think it was just doing it on my own time that kept me smiling.
Let’s not be confused- I cannot wait to train for another half ( hopefully with Jeremiah this time- there is a Half in march in dc) but I want to just not be so obsessed with my running.. cause even if its a good healthy habit I can get obsessed and let it take me away from other parts of life that give me pleasure. They say people have a hard time when they are not training for a race... so far this is true but I am really focusing on enjoy it for what it is- so no complaints yet!