Well it has been about 10 days since I ran my race, and it feels physically like it never happened. I would say on Tuesday was when I had this moment of freedom from training. That Monday the day after, I did my rowing machine and 90 minute yoga- so my body was still being worked, but Tuesday I decided not to run and instead ate two brownies and get a 60 minute massage. Wow that was quite a change in my routine! I felt free from my training and I am trying to stay focused on the big picture now. The training can bring out a little bit of my obsessive’s and desire to be the "best" , when I am just enjoying life its harder for me to decide " when should I run?, when should I rest? when should I ..." I refuse to let this laid back time confuse me. My goal of this time has been to learn to be more flexible and enjoy life. I do not want to say " I can't do that I HAVE to run 2 hours today" because I do not HAVE to do anything.. and its back to that moment where I am doing what I want, its hard figuring out what I want.
. I have a bike now, and I hope to just go for bike rides when I want, I joined a yoga studio, have a tennis date pending, I can run with friends more often now that I am not training and I can go on walks, or kayaking with my husband. I also joined another gym for 30 days where I can take different work out classes and learn to break out of my routine. I find that being in a routine is very safe place for me, but it also isn't the most enjoyable place. I was able to enjoy a weekend of a few runs and it felt amazing. I felt like I ran when I wanted to and I just felt free. I could not believe how I was very fast and had great pace- under 9 min avg. However I think it was just doing it on my own time that kept me smiling.
Let’s not be confused- I cannot wait to train for another half ( hopefully with Jeremiah this time- there is a Half in march in dc) but I want to just not be so obsessed with my running.. cause even if its a good healthy habit I can get obsessed and let it take me away from other parts of life that give me pleasure. They say people have a hard time when they are not training for a race... so far this is true but I am really focusing on enjoy it for what it is- so no complaints yet!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Joy and killing it!
Yes I killed it and yes I am glowing and still full of joy hours after. I am proud of myself and still in awe while realizing I am a changed person now. I feel you really can do more than you think you can, and I can do a lot physically- thus I have come a far way! I realized family love and support means the world to me and that I have an amazing family. I also have the best husband who is always full of encouragement and support and when he told me he got emotional during my race, I knew it was real for others and not just me.
Race weekend began with lots of anxiety, moods, excitement and loss of appetite. No sleep either. I woke up Saturday with a fast 20 minute run with the sun rising and thought " I can do this, and I will do this, look how far I have come and now its time to celebrate!". The family was up in Philly and ready to celebrate and it was quite the celebration. We got to have a birthday party, and I got my appetite back for dinner. I ate well and felt so good that I could finally calm down and eat. I also got in bed at 10pm witch was the goal. I woke up at 4:30am bouncing off the walls and ready to go ( I didn't have to get up till 5:30 but I just bounced out of bed). Jeremiah helped me with all me gear and I had this moment of realizing this is my race and I am a runner. Out in the morning it was cold but I knew I would warm up, at least I hoped. We stood in front of the famous rocky steps while listing to some Rock N' Roll and taking it all in. Then it was time to get in the Corral- I felt excited and nerves went away. When the horn went over I think I could have cried of joy but I just smiled and ran and gave my parents high fives. I was on full adrenaline for the first 5 miles. I saw the family at mile 4.5 and knew I had a killer pace. I was so ready.. then it got a little tougher when we were removed and not so many crowds. Lots of people were walking and I felt so far away. I told myself I have done this before I know I can do it, and I can REST later- pain is temporary. But I didn't really feel pain till after the race ( to be expected). I grabbed some "GU" a gel of calories, carbs and sugar at mile 8.5 and by mile 10 I was killing it. I was so ready to finish as I felt strong and fast. Mile 13 came fast and of course I sprinted to the finish! I saw the barricades of people and felt so much emotion as I ran fast to the " RUN BOO RUN" side the family held the whole race and got quite some play from the DJ as well. I felt I just did this and I still feel great! I had great breathing, great control and great weather. I could not have been more prepared. I had good nutrition and really trained hard. This was a goal I made believing I could do it- and I showed myself that trusting yourself can be hard during such intense training but in the end its that belief I made 2 months ago to sign up that drove me through the race. I knew I could do it 2 months ago- a lot less physically prepared why would I not do it now. I would and I did. Slash I killed it with joy!
Race weekend began with lots of anxiety, moods, excitement and loss of appetite. No sleep either. I woke up Saturday with a fast 20 minute run with the sun rising and thought " I can do this, and I will do this, look how far I have come and now its time to celebrate!". The family was up in Philly and ready to celebrate and it was quite the celebration. We got to have a birthday party, and I got my appetite back for dinner. I ate well and felt so good that I could finally calm down and eat. I also got in bed at 10pm witch was the goal. I woke up at 4:30am bouncing off the walls and ready to go ( I didn't have to get up till 5:30 but I just bounced out of bed). Jeremiah helped me with all me gear and I had this moment of realizing this is my race and I am a runner. Out in the morning it was cold but I knew I would warm up, at least I hoped. We stood in front of the famous rocky steps while listing to some Rock N' Roll and taking it all in. Then it was time to get in the Corral- I felt excited and nerves went away. When the horn went over I think I could have cried of joy but I just smiled and ran and gave my parents high fives. I was on full adrenaline for the first 5 miles. I saw the family at mile 4.5 and knew I had a killer pace. I was so ready.. then it got a little tougher when we were removed and not so many crowds. Lots of people were walking and I felt so far away. I told myself I have done this before I know I can do it, and I can REST later- pain is temporary. But I didn't really feel pain till after the race ( to be expected). I grabbed some "GU" a gel of calories, carbs and sugar at mile 8.5 and by mile 10 I was killing it. I was so ready to finish as I felt strong and fast. Mile 13 came fast and of course I sprinted to the finish! I saw the barricades of people and felt so much emotion as I ran fast to the " RUN BOO RUN" side the family held the whole race and got quite some play from the DJ as well. I felt I just did this and I still feel great! I had great breathing, great control and great weather. I could not have been more prepared. I had good nutrition and really trained hard. This was a goal I made believing I could do it- and I showed myself that trusting yourself can be hard during such intense training but in the end its that belief I made 2 months ago to sign up that drove me through the race. I knew I could do it 2 months ago- a lot less physically prepared why would I not do it now. I would and I did. Slash I killed it with joy!
Friday, September 16, 2011
Just one 20 minute run between me and race day
Crazy I have not ran just 20 minutes in a long time.. maybe since February? I can't even picture it. Running this week as been very strange, feeling excited/nervous/moody/food confusion all week. I am so off my rocker. Not quite what I pictured feeling- but I guess its hard to have expectations for something you never did before? Last week I finished strong, which was my goal and this week I am trying to stay strong mentally and emotionally as I know that’s what really will get me through the race.
With a few short runs this week, no music and drinks I increased my average pace to 9:30. This scares me because I am afraid I may go to fast at the beginning of the race and break down.. I guess that is my big fear right? Fear of failure!!! Yea I don't have that issue with fear of success just of failure. Here I go to Philly to prove my fear wrong. I hope to just sit back and let my body do its magic while I enjoy the accomplishment of completing my goal. I hope to enjoy my family’s support and be grateful for them. I hope to be healthy and strong. I hope to not freak out about the crowds of people I understand myself centered fear is not a reality. I hope hope hope to kill it at the race, and I hope to have fun!
With a few short runs this week, no music and drinks I increased my average pace to 9:30. This scares me because I am afraid I may go to fast at the beginning of the race and break down.. I guess that is my big fear right? Fear of failure!!! Yea I don't have that issue with fear of success just of failure. Here I go to Philly to prove my fear wrong. I hope to just sit back and let my body do its magic while I enjoy the accomplishment of completing my goal. I hope to enjoy my family’s support and be grateful for them. I hope to be healthy and strong. I hope to not freak out about the crowds of people I understand myself centered fear is not a reality. I hope hope hope to kill it at the race, and I hope to have fun!
Monday, September 12, 2011
Hello race week
Last week I treated my runs as a " back to basics" week. I had 4 runs with only a 90 minute run as my long run. This felt so manageable compared to running over 2 hours for the last few weeks. being relaxed and motivated by already succeeding my 13.1 mile mark the previous week really drove my confidence. Tuesday I ran without my running belt ( this means no drink and no music) just me and the watch. I felt very good and got back to using running as a resting place. A time to be meditative and relaxed, this was very nice to clear my head before race week. After being in Boston and around friends and family all weekend I needed some time to myself. My weekend runs were amazing. I ran over the monuments on my 90 minute run and felt no pain and enjoyed the beautiful day. And then last night I ran in dusk over the memorial bridge with the full moon- very amazing. I ran by about 20 cops with bomb sniffing dogs and helicopters as it was 9/11 and the threat level is still there. I had to stay focused but I felt somewhat distracted- then I ran on this path in Georgetown that has no lights- I panicked and got very scared I ran very fast. Speeding with concern of those runners who get attacked and what not. It honestly showed me the strength I have to run fast when I am scared. Happiness returned when I got to the top of the hill where there was a light. While my run may have had some fear elements in it I felt it only prepared me for mix of emotions on race day. Waking up this morning I felt relived it is race week and happy my body and mind are in great shape. I also had 2 softball games yesterday which I say is not a workout.. but it is it does take some out of you. Tonight I will relax in my 90 min yoga tonight and open up some joints while thinking " I really am running my first half marathon this weekend".
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Did I already run my half marathon?
Feeling very different this week. Last week I had a pretty up and down week with my running. Tuesdays 50 minute run was difficult in the first 10 minutes.. and never really got easier. My gps watch that tracks my pace, mileage, time and has become my running bestie died. I forgot to charge it and it’s my fault but it made me hate the world. I felt so frustrated that I had to guess my running intervals with music and assume time- luckily I had my phone so I was sure I ran the exact 50 minutes- but I felt inconsistent and almost like a failure. as I got up a partial hill I saw an overweight mailman struggling to walk and I felt his pain.. I felt " why am I doing this when I don't feel up for it" ..He just looked like he did not want to walk and I felt like I did not want to run. It was like parking far away in a mall parking lot- just painful for no real reason... eventually I finished and I felt a little bit better. After my immediate debrief with Jeremiah he told me not every run when training is amazing and sometimes it just sucks- people who race all the time, sometimes not all races are amazing. So I dealt with acceptance and honored my body for doing what my mind was not able to do at the time.
The other difference this week was I choose to run Thursday instead of Friday because I have been running 3 days in a row and sandwiching my longest runs.. I felt I should be true to the training plan for now on and only run Thursday and not Friday- so I run Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. It made a big difference and I felt like I had a redemption run on Thursday. I ran the same route I did Tuesday but with smiles and attitude. I also worked on slowing down- they say runners have a hard time slowing down when a training day requires it and I have not been true to that either. I get so competitive with myself and sometimes just want to do above and beyond what is asked.. not thinking those experts know something I don't. Doing the run at a slightly slower pace felt amazing and humble. It also really let my body chill out for my max run of 2 hours and 25 minute run on Saturday.
And now we know almost why I feel like I already ran my Half Marathon- I ran 13.75 miles on Saturday in 2 hours and 25 minutes. I hit the half marathon at 2 hours 17 minutes. I had quite the experience. Especially after a change up in my training- this was my longest, most enduring and most accomplished run yet. But I feel strange that I ran further than I will in 2 weeks on race day. The confidence that I know I physically can run a half marathon is overwhelming. I woke up at 4:30am on Saturday because we had to fly out to Boston for my nieces birth- and I could hardly sleep as I was told my sister in law was in labor as I went to bed. I started my run when the sun came out at 7am and ran the path parallel to the Potomac on the Virginia side. Amazing scenery and felt such gratitude for life with the beauty and the excitement of meeting my niece. After 40 minutes I ran into new territory on the path. I had done part of the path before with Jeremiah, but I wanted to do my run on new territory so I could be more prepared for the race. I only had Vitamin water on me and no power carbs/sugar.. I didn't think it would be an issue since I ran 2 hours the week before without that... well it was an issue. After 2 hours I felt it- I felt it in my legs and just wanted it to be over. I felt overwhelmed about my recovery walk and wanted to just stop and lay down.. but I didn’t' I ran all the way and then did my recovery walk. The walk was the hardest part. I physically could not walk straight and I felt sick and dizzy. I got home and Jeremiah made me the most amazing protein shake of my life. I absorbed it like a cactus and rain... I felt like a new person. Jeremiah reminded me that runners need carbs WHILE they run such long distances.. they need to give it to their body for performance. I think knowing this lesson now will prepare for race day and gives me 2 weeks to play more with some refueling while performing. In the end I felt wait.. if I can run almost 14 miles.. why am I doing the race? The answer is clear- because its not about doing something once and being done with it, its following through and the journey to get to such a point of celebration. My goal is to run better – not necessarily time, but that would be nice, but to really have strong energy and such joy in my run. So maybe I ran over 13.1 miles but I am up for the challenge again and this time in an official race with thousands of others going through the same journey.
The other difference this week was I choose to run Thursday instead of Friday because I have been running 3 days in a row and sandwiching my longest runs.. I felt I should be true to the training plan for now on and only run Thursday and not Friday- so I run Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. It made a big difference and I felt like I had a redemption run on Thursday. I ran the same route I did Tuesday but with smiles and attitude. I also worked on slowing down- they say runners have a hard time slowing down when a training day requires it and I have not been true to that either. I get so competitive with myself and sometimes just want to do above and beyond what is asked.. not thinking those experts know something I don't. Doing the run at a slightly slower pace felt amazing and humble. It also really let my body chill out for my max run of 2 hours and 25 minute run on Saturday.
And now we know almost why I feel like I already ran my Half Marathon- I ran 13.75 miles on Saturday in 2 hours and 25 minutes. I hit the half marathon at 2 hours 17 minutes. I had quite the experience. Especially after a change up in my training- this was my longest, most enduring and most accomplished run yet. But I feel strange that I ran further than I will in 2 weeks on race day. The confidence that I know I physically can run a half marathon is overwhelming. I woke up at 4:30am on Saturday because we had to fly out to Boston for my nieces birth- and I could hardly sleep as I was told my sister in law was in labor as I went to bed. I started my run when the sun came out at 7am and ran the path parallel to the Potomac on the Virginia side. Amazing scenery and felt such gratitude for life with the beauty and the excitement of meeting my niece. After 40 minutes I ran into new territory on the path. I had done part of the path before with Jeremiah, but I wanted to do my run on new territory so I could be more prepared for the race. I only had Vitamin water on me and no power carbs/sugar.. I didn't think it would be an issue since I ran 2 hours the week before without that... well it was an issue. After 2 hours I felt it- I felt it in my legs and just wanted it to be over. I felt overwhelmed about my recovery walk and wanted to just stop and lay down.. but I didn’t' I ran all the way and then did my recovery walk. The walk was the hardest part. I physically could not walk straight and I felt sick and dizzy. I got home and Jeremiah made me the most amazing protein shake of my life. I absorbed it like a cactus and rain... I felt like a new person. Jeremiah reminded me that runners need carbs WHILE they run such long distances.. they need to give it to their body for performance. I think knowing this lesson now will prepare for race day and gives me 2 weeks to play more with some refueling while performing. In the end I felt wait.. if I can run almost 14 miles.. why am I doing the race? The answer is clear- because its not about doing something once and being done with it, its following through and the journey to get to such a point of celebration. My goal is to run better – not necessarily time, but that would be nice, but to really have strong energy and such joy in my run. So maybe I ran over 13.1 miles but I am up for the challenge again and this time in an official race with thousands of others going through the same journey.
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